Signs You’re Living in the Past

Signs You’re Living in the Past


Instead of being focused on the present, people frequently get caught in a web of contemplation and worry about their mistakes from the past. However, the past can be detrimental in the present and future if people focus on incidences of the past excessively. The past shouldn't be considered a source of escape, but instead as an opportunity for reflection. If one struggles to let go of regret or past hurt, they may feel restricted by their circumstances and find it difficult to move forward through their daily lives. Being unable to let go of trauma can result in post-traumatic stress disorder, clinical depression, and even self-harming behavior.

Our experiences from the past can alter our present mindset and decisions. If trauma or pain was experienced in the past, it may affect the way we perceive our present circumstances, or hinder us daily. Research suggests that negative past experiences can lead to higher rates of depression, traits of anxiety and impulsivity, as well as lower self-esteem and bad choices. For example, if we experienced betrayal from someone we once loved, it is possible to re-live the same painful experience when it plays in our minds. Certain scents, foods, music, or places can "trigger" re-experiencing the pain that can result in a desire to dispel the thoughts and emotions that are causing us to feel negative about ourselves. This could lead to additional symptoms, including the feeling of being isolated from society, distrust towards others, self-sabotaging behaviors, and lack of ability to make progress within our daily lives.

Signs that you're living in the past

1. Holding childhood memories

If you are often recalling your childhood memories, you may be living in the past. This is true whether you're thinking about good or bad memories. If you've had traumatizing childhood experiences, you might be reliving those wounds and insults in the present. On the other hand, you may be denying the present in favor of the fleeting joys of childhood. Whatever the case, you're in denial of reality and are not embracing the present in its entirety. Releasing childhood memories and accepting the present life could give you better outcomes in life.

2. You are blaming yourself for everything

Have you noticed how often you apologize? If you're reciting apologies in breath, then you're being too gracious. This could be a result of unforgiveness towards yourself. There could be a myriad of factors that can trigger low self-confidence that is making you apologize in every circumstance. Whatever the cause, it needs to be put aside to make room for a better future. As with everybody else, you should be able to get an apology and a chance at redemption regardless of what happened during that time.

3. You consider yourself a bitter person

Bitterness is a result of past experiences and of the hurts and failures that aren't solved. It begins with anger and sadness but it becomes stronger over time. Perhaps a person you loved abandoned you in favor of another or perhaps you lost your job due to unjust circumstances. Whatever the circumstances, the bitterness will take over and slowly ruin your life. It's going to start by going back to your past repeatedly, replaying how everything was a disaster.

4. Everyone and everything is compared with the past

If you're living in the past, you'll compare your current situation with the things you've lost. Perhaps what you've got now isn't as great or as strong as the one you left behind. But, then again, what you've got now might be better than what you had before, and you're not sure about the difference as of yet. You might find that your life was awful and you've begun to notice the warning signs again and point to the same tragedy. The truth is, there are times when you're wrong in these situations, and making such comparisons hurts.

You can't make your current situation based on events that occurred in the past. Sometimes, it's an entirely different tale, regardless of how similar it might appear. If you're making comparisons, then you are certainly living in the past.

5. You're scared of change

The past is what can make us afraid to change circumstances in our present and make plans for the future. Even positive changes can become scary. If you are reading the thought of walking at the thought of taking a new position or moving into another place, it may be due to the past and its influence on you. It is important to let forget the past and realize that nothing stays the same forever. It is how life functions.

6. You're energetic and tend to hold grudges

Even though for the vast majority of people we know, we aren't evil beings, we all seek or have some degree of revenge. Planning revenge-based actions against the people who've wronged you is one indication that you are still stuck in the past. If you're unable to forget about a negative incident with a friend, or family member, you put yourself in the past and are waiting to punish them. In such situations, forgiveness can be helpful.

Seek Professional Mental Health Help

Leaving the past in the past is the smartest thing you can do for yourself. Although what has happened has shaped you into who you are, it need not dictate who you will be in the present or future. You won't be able to conquer demons of the past unless you accept things as they are right now. Put your attention on the present and your personal satisfaction. Being optimistic will help you live a happy life where you can succeed and accomplish your goals.

You can vent about your past experiences, and get the skills to deal with a variety of life difficulties through online therapist consultation or Online Counselling. Your therapist or Online Counsellor will collaborate with you to choose the approach that suits you the best and help you conquer your past.

If you would like to overcome your trauma and live mindfully, seeking consultation with the best Psychologists help you to understand your emotions, thoughts,  and behavior and enable you to better understand your depression, anxiety, stress, and health skills. You can also meet in the clinic with the best clinical psychologists & parenting coaches at Psychowellness Center, a multi-location clinic at Janakpuri, Dwarka, Vasant Vihar, Gurgaon, NOIDA, Faridabad, and Delhi NCR.

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Contributed by:- Dr (Prof) R K Suri,  Best  Clinical Psychologist in Delhi  & Mr. Utkarsh Yadav