In a most husband-wife relationship, this kind of problem persists. One of the partner complaints about the other that he/ she doesn’t want to discuss the issues and problems they are facing.
Or there may be complaints like I am discussing all my problems with my husband or wife but they don’t share their problems with me. Sometimes it happens that a couple has a fight and one of them doesn’t even want to discuss it and resolve it. Not only this but the partner also wants alone time for himself/herself.
In all this, the other partner thinks that there must be an issue that he/ she doesn’t want to discuss and solve the problem. The truth is that the problem is not with the other partner but it is the way of communication with each other which is bothering both.
Generally when one of the partner says that he/she don’t want to fight about this. Actually, they are saying that they don’t want to talk about it. By this, they mean to be controlling over the other partner.
Suppose if a husband says the same, there are two choices left with the wife. One is that she can continue with what she wants to say, the other is that she may keep quiet and go away from him. Sometimes the husband is in need of the other option as he wants to be controlling over the wife. And if the wife chooses the first option then the husband can blame her to be a fighting wife.
Actually, the truth is that as the two genders are different from each other, the way they communicate with each other as well as with their family and friends is very different.
Women tend to share their problems with their troop of friends or family while men don’t prefer sharing their issues with others. They tend to find the solution to their problems by themselves.
Some researchers also claim that when a couple is having difficulties and differences in their relationship, the cause of the problem is the women in 85 % of the conversations.
And when there is a feeling of frustration, anger, and grudges after the conversation, they want to re engage themselves for a dialogue on this in the future.
These kinds of problems are usually faced by couples who are newly married. It is because they are new in this phase and the wife comes from a new home and needs his time and she is also in need of having a dialogue on almost everything she does or is facing in the new family. She is also trying to adjust to everything and therefore there is a need of having a dialogue on everything and her husband knows all this slowly. He is also new in this phase.
The communication styles of both partners are different from each other. The wife’s approach is to talk and solve the problem politely soon after it happened while the husband’s approach is to be quiet and alone and look for the things which are bothering the wife. There is a big difference between both perspectives. And it does not mean that he doesn’t want to talk, it’s just he is having his own style of solving the conflicts. And therefore it is the responsibility of the wife to understand his communication style and adapt to it as well as work according to it.
Creating boundaries means setting the limits in a relationships. And it is quite effective for the couple. It means you are giving space to your partner and not forcing anything onto them. If they say they need time to think over their conversation, give them. If they say that in one conversation only one issue should be brought up, you should do the same. But these things should be pre-decided for both of them. If they don’t want to listen to something, they can also adopt some other means like writing an email or a letter.
When your husband doesn’t talk to you, it means he wants to talk to someone else. Take him to a counselor. Maybe he can get open to the counselor. For this, the couple should forget what others will think about their marriage. Because every couple wants others to think that they are happy in their marriage no matter what may be happening to them psychologically because of this. And they should learn that changes take time.
Take the best online couple counseling.
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