In todayâs hyperconnected world, social media has become one of the most influential forces shaping how people view themselves, others, and intimate relationships. Platforms such as Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook are not just places for connection but also spaces where curated lives, filtered photographs, and performative affection dominate. While social media provides opportunities for networking, companionship, and even finding love, it also creates a breeding ground for romantic delusions, false, idealized beliefs about relationships that can negatively impact mental health, self-esteem, and interpersonal bonds.
This blog examines how social media reinforces these delusions, the psychological toll it takes, including stress, anxiety, burnout, and trauma, and how relationship counseling and therapy can support healthier connections.
Understanding Romantic Delusions in the Digital Era
Romantic delusions are distorted beliefs about love, intimacy, and relationships. These may include assumptions such as:
- “Perfect love exists and should look flawless.”
- “If my partner doesnât post about me, they donât care.”
- “Couples on social media are happier and more loving than mine.”
Such ideas are heavily perpetuated by curated social media content. Influencers posting “relationship goals,” celebrities showcasing luxurious vacations, and peers celebrating picture-perfect proposals set unrealistic expectations.
Psychologists argue that repeated exposure to idealized portrayals can create cognitive distortions, where people compare their real-life relationships with online representations, leading to dissatisfaction and distress.
The Psychology Behind Social Media and Delusions
1. Comparison Culture
Social media thrives on comparison. Scrolling through posts of couples celebrating anniversaries, traveling together, or sharing love notes can trigger feelings of inadequacy. According to Social Comparison Theory, people naturally evaluate themselves against others. However, online portrayals are often exaggerated and filtered, creating a gap between reality and expectation. This leads to stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
2. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
Romantic delusions often arise when individuals fear they are “missing out” on the kind of love others appear to have. Studies suggest that FOMO leads to emotional burnout and depression (Baker et al., 2016). People begin to believe their relationship is inadequate, even when it is healthy and fulfilling offline.
3. Validation and Performance of Love
For many, posting about their relationship serves as a form of validation. The number of likes and comments becomes a measure of loveâs worth. This encourages a performative, rather than authentic, display of affection, reinforcing the delusion that “real love must always be publicly validated.”
4. Attachment Styles and Social Media
Individuals with insecure attachment styles, anxious or avoidant, are more prone to internalizing romantic delusions through social media. For example, an anxiously attached person may experience heightened anxiety and stress when their partner does not engage in online displays of affection, leading to conflict and mistrust.
Mental Health Impacts of Romantic Delusions
1. Stress and Anxiety
Constantly comparing oneâs relationship to online ideals contributes to chronic stress and relationship anxiety. Individuals may feel pressure to perform their relationship rather than experience it authentically.
2. Depression
When expectations fail to match reality, disappointment and hopelessness can set in. Research indicates that prolonged exposure to unrealistic social media portrayals correlates with depression symptoms (Lin et al., 2016).
3. Burnout/ Stress in Relationships
Just as workplace stress occurs from unrelenting pressure, relationship burnout can develop when couples strive to live up to unrealistic social media expectations. Couples may feel emotionally drained, detached, or disillusioned with love.
4. Impact on Self-Esteem
Comparing oneself to influencers and celebrities fosters self-doubt. Individuals may believe they are not attractive, wealthy, or romantic enough, resulting in low self-esteem and trauma from rejection.
5. Trauma and Emotional Wounds
Repeatedly experiencing betrayal, infidelity, or neglect disguised under social mediaâs glossy surface can leave deep emotional scars. For example, partners engaging in “micro-cheating” online, liking, commenting, or messaging others can trigger trauma responses in already insecure individuals.
Cultural and Gender Perspectives
Social media also reinforces cultural and gender-based expectations about romance.
- Women are often expected to receive public displays of affection (PDA posts, lavish gifts online) as proof of their partnerâs commitment.
- Men may feel pressure to appear wealthy, strong, or romantic providers online.
Both expectations perpetuate harmful stereotypes and intensify the cycle of comparison, leading to stress, anxiety, and resentment in relationships.
Healthy Ways to Challenge Romantic Delusions
1. Digital Detox and Boundaries
Limiting social media consumption can reduce the negative psychological impact. Couples can agree to keep certain aspects of their relationship private, avoiding performative posting.
2. Mindfulness and Self-Awareness
Mindfulness helps individuals become aware of their emotions and triggers without judgment. Practicing mindfulness reduces anxiety and stress, helping people separate real love from delusions.
3. Relationship Counseling
Therapists and counselors play a vital role in helping couples and individuals navigate unrealistic expectations. Relationship counseling focuses on communication, trust-building, and reframing distorted beliefs influenced by social media.
4. Counseling for Individuals
For people experiencing depression, low self-esteem, or trauma due to romantic delusions, one-on-one counseling offers coping tools. Techniques like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) can help challenge distorted thoughts and promote healthier perspectives.
5. Promoting Realistic Narratives
Engaging with authentic content, accounts promoting vulnerability, real struggles, and imperfect but meaningful relationships, can counteract delusions and inspire healthier mindsets.
Conclusion
Social media has undeniably reshaped how people experience romance, but it has also fueled the rise of romantic delusions. From stress, anxiety, burnout, depression, and trauma to distorted views of intimacy and self-worth, the consequences are profound. However, through self-awareness, counseling, and relationship therapy, individuals and couples can break free from these false ideals.
Ultimately, love is not defined by “likes,” lavish vacations, or flawless selfies; it is built on trust, vulnerability, and authentic connection. Recognizing and dismantling romantic delusions is essential for cultivating relationships that truly nurture well-being.
Breaking free from the cycle of social media-driven romantic delusions often requires more than just willpower; it benefits from guided therapeutic support. At the Psychowellness Center, located in Dwarka Sector-17 (011-47039812 / 7827208707) and Janakpuri (011-47039812 / 7827208707), individuals and couples can access specialized services such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to challenge distorted beliefs, Mindfulness-Based Therapy to reduce comparison-driven stress, and Relationship Counseling to rebuild authentic intimacy beyond online pressures. For those seeking flexible, confidential support from home, TalktoAngel, a trusted online counseling platform, connects people with experienced best psychologists and Best Relationship Counselors near me, who help navigate the emotional toll of social media, address low self-esteem, and strengthen self-awareness. Both platforms create safe spaces where individuals can untangle unrealistic expectations, heal emotional wounds, and cultivate healthier, more grounded relationships rooted in trust and authenticity.
This article leverages the expertise of Clinical Psychologist Dr. R.K. Suri and Counselling Psychologist Ms. Sangeeta Pal, offering actionable insights and practical guidance.
This blog was posted on 30 September 2025.
References
- Baker, Z. G., Krieger, H., & LeRoy, A. S. (2016). Fear of missing out: Relationships with depression, mindfulness, and physical symptoms. Translational Issues in Psychological Science, 2(3), 275â282. https://doi.org/10.1037/tps0000075
- Fardouly, J., Diedrichs, P. C., Vartanian, L. R., & Halliwell, E. (2018). Social comparisons on social media: The impact of Facebook on young womenâs body image concerns and mood. Body Image, 13, 38â45. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2014.12.003
- Lin, L. Y., Sidani, J. E., Shensa, A., Radovic, A., Miller, E., Colditz, J. B., ⊠& Primack, B. A. (2016). Association between social media use and depression among U.S. young adults. Depression and Anxiety, 33(4), 323â331. https://doi.org/10.1002/da.22466
- Social Media Anxiety | Blog | TalktoAngel
- New Advisory on Social media Usage for Teenagers | Blog | TalktoAngel
- The Perfect Traps of a âPerfect Relationshipâ | Psychowellness center
- Teen Love and Mental Health Understanding the Connection | Psychowellness Center