How to Destroy the Self-Sabotaging Cycle

How to Destroy the Self-Sabotaging Cycle


Self-sabotage is a behavior that refers to intentionally or unconsciously blocking one's own progress or success. It is a common but often unrecognized pattern of behavior that can have a profound impact on an individual's life.

Self-sabotage can take many forms, including procrastination, self-doubt, self-criticism, unhealthy Relationships, substance abuse, and more. It is a behavior that often keeps individuals stuck in negative patterns and prevents them from reaching their full potential.

What causes self-sabotage?

Self-sabotage can be caused by a variety of factors, including:

  1. Low self-esteem: Individuals with low self-esteem may unconsciously sabotage their own success out of a fear of failure or a belief that they are not deserving of success.

  2. Fear of success: Some individuals may have an unconscious fear of success and the responsibilities and changes that come with it. This fear can lead to self-sabotaging behavior, such as procrastination or self-doubt.

  3. Past experiences: Negative experiences in the past, such as childhood trauma or rejection, can shape an individual's beliefs and behaviors, leading to self-sabotage in the present.

  4. Unresolved emotional issues: Unresolved emotional issues, such as anxiety or depression, can lead to self-sabotaging behavior as a way of coping with difficult emotions.

  5. Cognitive biases: Certain cognitive biases, such as perfectionism or all-or-nothing thinking, can lead to self-sabotaging behavior as individuals strive for an unattainable standard.

Overcoming self-sabotage:

Self-sabotage is a behavior that can be overcome with effort and determination. The following steps can help individuals break free from self-sabotaging patterns:

  1. Awareness: The first step in overcoming self-sabotage is becoming aware of the behavior and the reasons behind it. This may involve reflecting on past experiences and patterns of behavior.

  2. Identifying triggers: Once individuals are aware of their self-sabotaging behavior, they can begin to identify the triggers that cause it. This may involve journaling or speaking with a trusted friend or therapist.

  3. Challenging negative thoughts: Self-sabotage is often rooted in negative thoughts and beliefs. Challenging these thoughts and replacing them with positive self-talk can help individuals break free from self-sabotaging patterns.

  4. Building resilience: Building Resilience through activities such as exercise, meditation, and positive relationships can help individuals develop the skills they need to overcome self-sabotage.

  5. Seeking support: Finally, seeking support from a trusted friend, family member, or the Best psychologist in India and Counseling psychologist can be an effective way to overcome self-sabotage. This support can help individuals process their experiences and develop new coping strategies.

Overcoming self-sabotage with the help of Online Therapy

Self-sabotage is a common phenomenon that can hold individuals back from achieving their goals and leading fulfilling lives. This type of behavior is often unconscious and driven by a range of negative thought patterns and self-beliefs. In order to overcome this cycle, individuals must first become aware of their self-sabotaging tendencies and then develop new coping strategies to replace these unhealthy habits.

One effective way to overcome self-sabotage is through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Therapy called Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) aims to alter unfavourable thought and behaviour patterns. By working with a therapist, individuals can identify their self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors, and develop new coping strategies to replace them. One study found that individuals who underwent CBT showed significant reductions in self-sabotaging behaviors and increased levels of goal attainment (Smith, 2016).

Another way to overcome self-sabotage is to engage in self-reflection and self-awareness. This involves becoming more mindful of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and recognizing when you are engaging in self-sabotaging activities. By developing this self-awareness, individuals can begin to shift their focus away from negative self-talk and towards more positive, constructive thoughts (Fenton, 2014).

Mindfulness meditation can also be a useful tool in overcoming self-sabotage. This practice involves focusing on the present moment and becoming more aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. By engaging in mindfulness meditation, individuals can develop a greater sense of self-awareness and learn to identify and manage self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors (Khoury, 2013).

It is also important for individuals to develop a strong support system of friends and family members who can provide encouragement and support as they work to overcome their self-sabotaging tendencies. Having a strong network of supportive individuals can help individuals feel more confident and capable of facing challenges and overcoming self-sabotage (Smith, 2016).

Finally, setting realistic goals and developing a plan for achieving them can also help individuals overcome self-sabotage. By breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps, individuals can develop a sense of control and purpose, which can help to reduce feelings of self-doubt and anxiety (Fenton, 2014).

In conclusion, self-sabotage can be a debilitating cycle that holds individuals back from reaching their full potential. However, by engaging in therapy, developing self-awareness, practicing mindfulness, building a support system, and setting achievable goals, individuals can overcome these tendencies and lead more fulfilling lives. You can seek help by searching for the Best psychologist delhi or Online counselor at your convenience. 


Self-sabotage is a behavior that can have a profound impact on an individual's life. Understanding the causes of self-sabotage, such as low self-esteem, past experiences, and cognitive biases, is an important step in overcoming it. With effort and determination, individuals can break free from self-sabotaging patterns and reach their full potential.

Contributions by- Dr. (Prof) R.K Suri & Ms. Varshini Nayyar


  • Fenton, N. (2014). Overcoming self-sabotage. London, UK: Robinson.

  • Khoury, B. (2013). Mindfulness-based therapy: A comprehensive meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 33(6), 763-771.

  • Smith, J. (2016). The role of cognitive behavioral therapy in overcoming self-sabotage. Journal of Mental Health, 25(3), 176-181.

For mental health therapy, you may also schedule an appointment with renowned, licenced psychologists at the Psychowellness Centre. The centre has locations in and around NOIDA, Janakpuri, Dwarka, Faridabad, and Delhi NCR.

Contribution: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist, life coach & mentor TalktoAngel & Ms. Varshini Nayyar, Psychologist.