Child discipline

Child discipline


The word child discipline basically means to impart knowledge and skills to the children or to teach them how to behave in the society and at home. Parents equate it with punishment and control, says the best psychologist in india. There is an ongoing controversy on how to discipline children and the parents are quite confused on how to discipline their children effectively and impart self control in them. 


Teaching child discipline is a job for the parents which usually takes a lot of time and patience. Every parent wants that their children should be respected, happy and they are able to find a place. They should be called well behaved adults. During my conversation with best psychologist in India at Psychowellness center they explained; Nobody wants to be called a parent of a spoiled brat. But sometimes it happens that the child’s behavior is far from the expectations of the parents. 


What is Discipline:


Discipline means teaching basic societal manners to the children. It teaches the child that they should follow the rules of the society and at home. It uses different techniques like positive reinforcements, modelling, love and support of the family. Although punishment is also sometimes used, it is not a good way to discipline and it also does not mean that when you are imparting good discipline, punishment is the only way or it is the best way. It is also true that the parents become frustrated and then they use punishment as a technique. 


Types of parenting:


According to the American Mental Health association the best psychologist in India explains about three types of parenting styles.


  1. Authoritative parent: In this type of parenting or child discipline parents are clear about their expectations and the consequences of everything. They are also affectionate towards their child. They allow the child flexibility to problem solving and side by side they use collaborative problem solving  so that the child is able to solve his challenges by himself. With this, children are able to solve all the behavioral challenges by themselves. This is known to be the most effective parenting style or teaching child discipline technique.


  1. Authoritarian parent: In this type of parenting or child discipline the parents are quite clear about their expectations and the consequences but they don't show much affection toward their children. The parents are strict and expect more from their children. Parents focus more on obedience, discipline and control. Their expectations are that their child should not make any sort of mistakes and obey what they are saying. This is considered to be a less effective form of parenting.


  1. Permissive parents: This is a type of child discipline in which parents are low demanding and they show high responsiveness. They are providing maximum love and provide less rules and guidelines to their children. Here the parents are more friendly towards their children. This is also considered to be the less effective form of parenting or child discipline technique.


Types of Child Discipline


Many "new" parenting ideas are simply subtypes of the basic five forms of discipline, despite the fact that new parenting books and child discipline tactics are always appearing. Experts (team of best psychologist in India) don't always agree on which discipline is best, but it's evident that each has its own set of advantages.


  • Positive Child  Discipline 


It is based on positive reinforcement and encouragement. Parents continue to make discipline about teaching rather than focus on punishment.


  • Gentle Discipline


The goal of gentle discipline is to avert issues. Redirection is a technique for guiding children away from harmful behaviour. Consequences are given to children, but gentle child discipline technique isn't about instilling shame in them. Instead, parents frequently employ humour and diversions. The goal of gentle child discipline is for parents to be able to manage their own emotions while dealing with their child's disobedience.


  • Discipline with Boundaries


Boundary-based child discipline focuses on establishing boundaries and clearly stating the rules up front. After that, the children are offered options, and there are clear repercussions for misbehaving, such as logical or natural consequences.


  • Modification of Behavior


In this child discipline method positive and negative consequences are the focus of behaviour modification. Praise or prizes are used to reinforce good conduct. Misconduct is discouraged by ignoring of negative consequences, such as the loss of privileges.


  • Coaching for Emotions


Emotion coaching is a five-step disciplining method that teaches children about their emotions. When children understand their emotions, they are able to express them rather than acting on them. Children are taught that their feelings are normal, and parents assist them in learning appropriate coping mechanisms.


Why positive parenting?


Positive parenting is necessary for the development of good and healthy relationships between the children and the parents. Parents usually say that they don't want to shout at their children but they do because of the stress, frustration and they don't see any other way to teach them. 


Shouting and hitting do not give good results in the long run. It can negatively affect the child. It can give what we call as “toxic stress” to their children like depression, drug use, school drop outs, heart diseases and suicide also. 


Techniques for child discipline:


Techniques for positive parenting depend on the way the child behaves, your child’s age, child’s temperament and your parenting or child discipline style.


  1. Rewarding good behavior: 


Child discipline where parents usually focus on the bad or negative behavior of their children. Children may also use this in want of your attention. Children always want praise from their parents and acknowledging their positive behavior will work. With this they will feel loved and wanted. When your children are doing something good or behave according to how you had taught them to, praise them, acknowledge their good behaviour. Reward them by giving compliments. 


  1. Using calm consequences: 


Learning new behavior and consequences is part of one child growing up. Teach your child discipline to do the right thing by explaining to them the consequences of their bad behavior. 


For example, your child keeps on scribbling on the wall, you either ask them to stop or end their play time. This clearly provides them with one warning that they should stop their behaviour at once and they are having an opportunity to change their behavior. If they don't stop, explain to them the consequences of this behavior calmly, without being angry. If they stop, encourage them and praise them so that they should not repeat such behaviour. This will be creating a positive feedback loop for the children.


When parents use calm consequences for child discipline they make them understand what happens when they behave badly. 


  1. Setting clear expectations: 


 Parents should tell their children what exactly they want them to do. Clear instructions is more effective way of teaching discipline. For example, when you ask your children that they should not make a mess, they may not clearly understand that. If you ask them to put all their toys in their basket then it makes them clear what they have to do. 


It is also important to set realistic expectations with the children. For example if you ask your children to be quiet for the whole day, it is quite impossible for them to manage but when you ask them to be quiet for 10 minutes because you have a call then it will be possible. 


  1. Distracting them in a creative way: 


When your child's behavior is difficult to handle, try distracting them with some positive activities. To turn their negative energy behavior into a more positive one you can take them out for a walk, change the topic or introduce a game etc. 


  1. Time outs: 


This child discipline trick will work out if the parents know what their children had done wrong or if they want a break from their child’s behaviour. Please make sure that you have a time out place before you go for time out. This place should be boring enough so that the child may not enjoy it. This place should not be the bedroom where they can play or a very strict place like the bathroom. The child should be mature enough to understand the time out or the purpose of time out. Usually a child of 2 years of age understands time out. 


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