From the moment we start school to the time we enter the workforce, we’re subtly and often explicitly told to “do good in life.” This phrase, while well-intentioned, carries a heavy burden. It often translates to achieving academic excellence, securing a prestigious job, earning a high income, and maintaining social validation. However, behind this drive lies a widespread psychological struggle, the pressure to be successful at all costs.
This pressure is not just a passing thought; it can impact mental health deeply, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, low self-worth, and even depression (Schiffrin et al., 2014). In our modern culture, fueled by competition and amplified by social media, people often feel that no matter what they do, it’s never “good enough.” They consequently become disengaged from their own needs and ideals and live up to the expectations of others.
Why Do We Feel So Pressured to Succeed?
There are several reasons why people feel overwhelmed by the need to “do good in life”:
- Cultural Expectations: Many cultures tie worth to external achievements such as grades, job titles, marriage, or financial success. This can lead people to believe that unless they meet these standards, they are falling behind.
- Family Influence: Parents and guardians often want their children to succeed, but sometimes their high expectations can become internalised as self-worth. Children who grow up hearing “You must be the best” may become adults who are constantly afraid of failure.
- Social Comparison: In the age of Instagram, LinkedIn, and digital resumes, people often compare their behind-the-scenes struggles with others’ highlight reels. This illusion of perfection leads to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
- Fear of Disappointment: The desire not to let others down, be it parents, peers, or mentors, can create immense emotional stress.
What Happens When the Pressure Becomes Too Much?
The persistent feeling that one is not doing enough or is falling behind in life can lead to serious mental health concerns:
- Anxiety: Constant worry about performance and success can lead to racing thoughts, irritability, panic attacks, and physical symptoms like headaches or nausea.
- Depression: Feeling like you’re never good enough despite all your efforts can lead to hopelessness and a diminished sense of joy.
- Burnout: Especially common among professionals and students, burnout involves emotional exhaustion, detachment, and reduced performance, often resulting from prolonged and excessive effort (Maslach & Leiter, 2016).
- Impostor Syndrome: Even high-achieving individuals may feel like they are “faking it” or don’t deserve their success, fearing they’ll be “found out.”
- Poor Self-Esteem: When people define their worth only through success, any setback can deeply damage their self-image.
How to Handle the Pressure: Practical Strategies
1. Reframe the Definition of Success
Success isn’t one-size-fits-all. Ask yourself: What does success mean to me personally? For some, it might be financial stability. For others, it could be inner peace, meaningful relationships, or creative freedom. Let your goals reflect your values, not someone else’s expectations.
2. Practice Self-Compassion
You become more worried when you are hard on yourself; it doesn’t make you stronger. According to Dr. Kristin Neff (2011), self-compassion improves resilience and mental well-being. You become more worried when you are hard on yourself; it doesn’t make you stronger.
3. Set Boundaries with External Pressures
You don’t have to say yes to every opportunity or please everyone. Saying no to things that drain you and yes to those that nourish you is a valuable skill. Protect your energy and peace of mind.
4. Disconnect from Comparison
Comparing your progress to someone else’s is like comparing apples to oranges. Everyone has a different path. Instead of scrolling mindlessly through social media, take breaks and focus on your journey.
5. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
Doing well doesn’t mean doing everything perfectly. Progress is about consistent effort, learning, and growth. Enjoy your little victories because they build up over time.
6. Make Time for Things That Matter
Reconnect with hobbies, friendships, spirituality, or nature. Doing things that bring joy and meaning helps shift the focus from performance to presence.
Therapeutic Support: When and Why to Seek Help
Do not hesitate to seek expert assistance if the pressure becomes too overwhelming to handle. Many individuals carry emotional burdens for years, believing they have to “handle it alone.” Therapy provides a safe, non-judgmental space to explore and heal the root causes of this pressure.
Counselling offers convenient, confidential, and accessible mental health support, especially helpful for students, working professionals, and homemakers who may struggle with time or mobility constraints.
Several evidence-based therapies can be especially effective in managing the pressure to do well in life. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) are among the most effective approaches. Through counselling, trained and empathetic psychologists provide personalised support to help individuals cope with performance pressure and lead more balanced, meaningful lives.
Conclusion
The desire to “do good in life” is not inherently harmful; it’s a sign that you care about your future. However, when this desire turns into relentless pressure, it can rob you of joy, peace, and mental health. You are more than your accomplishments. Your worth is not defined by how busy you are, how perfect your résumé looks, or how others perceive your life.
If you’re struggling with this invisible weight, you are not alone. Mental health professionals can guide you through the journey of letting go of toxic expectations and embracing a more meaningful, balanced, and self-affirming life.
Life isn’t about proving your self-worth, it’s about discovering it.
The Psychowellness Center, located in Dwarka Sector-17 and Janakpuri, offers in-person counselling sessions with experienced top psychologists near me who provide compassionate and evidence-based care for stress, anxiety, and pressure to succeed. For those who prefer flexibility, TalktoAngel provides secure and confidential online counselling sessions, making it easier for individuals to access professional help from the comfort of their homes. Both services aim to create a safe and supportive environment where individuals can explore their struggles and find healthier ways to cope.
This article features valuable perspectives from esteemed Clinical Psychologist Dr. R.K. Suri and Counselling Psychologist Ms. Sangeeta Pal, who discuss practical techniques and approaches designed to strengthen emotional resilience and promote lasting mental well-being.
References
Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Understanding the burnout experience: Recent research and its implications for psychiatry. World Psychiatry, 15(2), 103–111. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20311
Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-compassion, self-esteem, and well-being. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 5(1), 1–12. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2010.00330.x
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68
Schiffrin, H. H., Liss, M., Miles-McLean, H., Geary, K. A., Erchull, M. J., & Tashner, T. (2014). Helping or hovering? The effects of helicopter parenting on college students’ well-being. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 23(3), 548–557. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-013-9716-3
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