Starting college can be one of the most exciting and liberating experiences of your life. New classes, independence, and endless opportunities await, but for many students, this new beginning is overshadowed by social anxiety. The pressure to fit in, start conversations, and build friendships can feel overwhelming. If youâve ever found yourself hesitating to join a group, fearing judgment, or avoiding social events altogether, youâre not alone.
Among college students, social anxiety is one of the most prevalent mental health issues. While it may feel like a barrier between you and meaningful relationships, the good news is that it’s manageable. With understanding, patience, and the right strategies, you can learn to navigate your anxiety and build authentic connections.
What is Social Anxiety?
Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), also known as social phobia, is characterized by an intense fear of being judged, embarrassed, or negatively evaluated in social or performance situations (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). It goes beyond shyness, it can lead to avoidance of social interactions and hinder academic, personal, and emotional development.
Some common signs of social anxiety in college students include:
- Fear of speaking up in class
- Avoiding social gatherings or campus clubs
- Worrying excessively about how others perceive you
- Physical symptoms like sweating, trembling, or a racing heart in social settings
- Overanalyzing interactions long after theyâve occurred
If this resonates with you, know that youâre not alone, and it doesnât mean youâre incapable of forming meaningful friendships.
Why Making Friends Feels Hard in College
College is a time when many people form lifelong friendships, but it also comes with challenges:
- Everyone is new: Unlike school, you may not know anyone on campus.
- Social cliques can feel intimidating: It seems like everyone already has a group.
- Insecurity is common: You may feel like you’re not interesting or âenough.â
- Freedom comes with pressure: You’re expected to âfigure it all outâ on your own.
For students with social anxiety, these pressures can feel like climbing a mountain with no clear path. But even if the path feels hidden, itâs there, and you can take it one step at a time.
Strategies to Overcome Social Anxiety and Make Friends
1. Start Small and Be Consistent
You donât need to walk into a crowded party to start making friends. Begin with small, manageable interactions:
- Greet your classmates before or after lectures.
- Sit in the same place regularly so people start recognizing you.
- Compliment someone genuinely, and it can spark a conversation.
Repetition builds comfort. The more you expose yourself to social situations, the less intimidating they become, a process known as exposure therapy in cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) (Hofmann et al., 2012).
2. Join Clubs or Groups Based on Shared Interests
One of the best ways to connect with like-minded people is through interest-based activities. Whether itâs photography, chess, theatre, or volunteering, shared passions create a natural foundation for friendship.
Bonus: These groups often involve structured interactions, making it easier to socialize without the pressure of âmaking small talk.â
3. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Social anxiety is often fueled by irrational thoughts like:
- “Iâll say something stupid.”
- “Theyâll think Iâm weird.”
- “No one wants to be my friend.”
Challenge these thoughts by asking:
- âDo I have evidence for this belief?â
- âHave people told me this, or is it my assumption?â
- “What may go incorrectly, and am I prepared to address it?”
Using CBT techniques to reframe negative thinking is proven to be effective in reducing social anxiety symptoms (Beck, 2011).
4. Use Campus Resources
Most colleges offer mental health support for students, including counselling, group therapy, exposure therapy, mindfulness techniques, and wellness programs. You can learn coping mechanisms and gain insight into the causes of your worry by consulting a counselor.
Some campuses also have mentorship programs or peer-led groups designed to support students in building confidence and friendships.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
Itâs easy to beat yourself up after a socially awkward moment, but everyone makes mistakes. Instead of replaying conversations or avoiding future interactions, try saying:
âIâm proud of myself for trying. I donât have to be perfect to be worthy of connection.â
Self-compassion builds resilience and reduces shame and guilt, which often underlie social anxiety. Recall that connecting with people who appreciate the true you is more important than trying to win over everyone.
6. Try Conversation Starters
One of the biggest fears for socially anxious individuals is, âWhat do I say?â Here are a few simple and effective conversation starters for college:
- âWhat did you think of the lecture?â
- âHave you taken any other classes with this professor?â
- âAre you part of any campus clubs?â
- âI like your [bag/shoes/book], where did you get it?â
These openers are casual and can lead to natural conversation without pressure.
7. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Progress might look like making eye contact today, saying hello tomorrow, and joining a group chat next week. Celebrate each step.
Set small social goals each week. Over time, those tiny steps add up to meaningful connections and a stronger sense of belonging.
When to Seek Help
It’s critical to get professional assistance if your social anxiety is affecting your capacity to attend classes, interact with others, or look after yourself. Therapy, especially cognitive-behavioral therapy, is highly effective in treating social anxiety.
In some cases, medication may also be prescribed as part of a treatment plan. A mental health professional can guide you through these options.
Conclusion
Making friends in college can feel daunting when you’re living with social anxiety, but itâs entirely possible. You don’t have to be the most vocal person in the room. What matters is showing up, being genuine, and giving yourself grace as you grow.
The friendships that are meant for you wonât require perfection, just presence.
If social anxiety is making it difficult to connect with peers, participate in class, or enjoy your college experience, support is available. At Psychowellness Centre, our trained best psychologists in Janakpuri and Dwarka sector-17 offer specialized therapy to help students navigate anxiety, build self-confidence, and form meaningful relationships. To schedule an in-person session, call 011-47039812 or 7827208707. Prefer speaking with someone online? TalktoAngel connects you with certified mental health professionals who use proven approaches like CBT, exposure therapy, and social skills training. Whether you’re trying to initiate conversations, join clubs, or simply feel more at ease in social settings, the right help can make college a more connected, fulfilling journey.
Discover valuable insights from Dr. R. K. Suri, a Clinical Psychologist, and Ms. Sangeeta Pal, a Counseling Psychologist, as they offer their expert advice and knowledge in this blog.
This blog was posted on August 1, 2025
ReferencesÂ
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596
Beck, J. S. (2011). Cognitive behaviour therapy: Basics and beyond (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Hofmann, S. G., Asnaani, A., Vonk, I. J., Sawyer, A. T., & Fang, A. (2012). The efficacy of cognitive behavioural therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 36(5), 427â440. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10608-012-9476-1
From Shyness to Confidence: Overcoming Social Anxiety
Anxiety Treatment | Anxiety Counselling â Psychowellness Center