Is It Okay To Have Expectations In A Relationship

Is It Okay To Have Expectations In A Relationship


Everyone at one or the other point of time may have expectations. It is said that expectations take away all your happiness and bring a negative mood and feelings all around you. People are filled with sadness, anger, and bickering when their expectations are not fulfilled. Expectations only result in conflicts with the spouse and the people with whom you are having a close relationship.

I still remember one incident. It was father’s day and I just went to hug my father and wish him a happy father’s day. I hugged him but he did not hug me back like he never did. I expected that he will hug me in the same way and manner as I did but what happened was the opposite of that. I got hurt because I expected a lot from my father and got angry with him. I didn’t talk with him for a week and forgot that it was his nature. It was not him who hurt me; it was my own expectations that hurt me. It was my thoughts and feelings that hurt me. He never hugged us nor showed immense love for us. But that truly does not mean that he does not love us. The thing is it was we expected that he should show his love to us, his care to us.

Usually, expectations are biased and depend from person to person. One of the spouses may have one expectation while others may have a different expectation. But what if both starts to assume about their expectations. The relationship will not work and it will have tensions in it instead of love, care, and respect for each other. For that, you have to take a conversation with your partner about what you expect him or her to do.

Opinion and expectations are the birthplaces of bickering. When the expectations are mismatched, there are conflicts in the partnership.

Read also:  Role Of Empathy And Sympathy In A Relationship


What things we should expect in a relationship

If you want to be in a good partnership with the people around you, you need to do a few simple things.

Prioritizing expectations:

In learning how to manage expectations, you should put your complete focus on appreciation of small things your partner does for you. Instead of focusing on all the negatives, try to focus on all the positive sides of your partner. You should put your focus on the thing that your partner at least tried. Try focusing on their warmth, love, and care because of which you married them.


Try to put compassion over expectations. Prioritize your love and not the expectation you have made to the person. Truth at the end of the day is he or she is the person you love.


Showing respect in a relationship is the basis of all relationships. When you respect the other person’s needs and perspective, it means that you are in effective communication with each other.


Devote time to your partner. This is the ultimate need for the partnership. Make your relationship the foremost priority.

Stop comparing your relationship with others:

When you compare your relationship with others, it will be ruined. When you see two couples in love relationships with each other and you see your husband is a sort of unromantic one, what you do is get jealous of them and start to compare your relationship with them. This will bring nothing except conflicts.

Instead of expecting more from your relationship try giving your best in your relationship and for your partner.


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