In todayâs evolving world, the role of fathers in parenting is no longer limited to being a provider or a disciplinarian. Research and real-life stories alike highlight the profound impact an actively involved father can have on a childâs emotional, cognitive, and social development. Active fathering nurtures secure attachment, fosters resilience, and promotes balanced personality development in children. This guide aims to support fathers in understanding what active parenting looks like and how they can meaningfully engage with their children, right from infancy to adolescence.
What is Active Parenting?
Being physically and emotionally present in your child’s life is known as active parenting. Itâs about engaging in their growth with intention, empathy, and consistency. Rather than being a passive bystander, an active father is a participant, protector, and partner in the parenting journey.
Why Fathers Matter
According to a study by the American Academy of Paediatrics (AAP), children with involved fathers are more likely to:
- Do better academically
- Have higher self-esteem
- Exhibit fewer behavioural problems
- Build healthier social relationships
Active fathering also positively impacts the fatherâs well-being, increasing life satisfaction, emotional regulation, and resilience.
Practical Ways Fathers Can Foster Active Parenting
- Be PresentâNot Just Physically, But Emotionally:-Quality time matters, but so does quality presence. Put down the phone, listen intently, and react empathetically when you’re with your youngster. Whether it’s bath time for a toddler or a deep conversation with a teenager, being present tells your child, âYou matter to me.â
- Share the Daily Load:-Get involved in everyday parenting tasksâdiaper changing, feeding, helping with homework, school pick-ups, or attending parent-teacher meetings. This not only eases the burden on your partner but teaches your child that parenting is a shared responsibility, not a gendered one.
- Practice Gentle Discipline:-Move away from fear-based discipline toward respectful communication and clear & healthy boundaries. Understand your childâs behaviour rather than reacting impulsively.
- Model the Values You Want to Teach: Children learn more by watching than by listening. Demonstrate honesty, kindness, responsibility, and emotional control through your actions. Apologise when you make a mistake, showing that itâs okay to be imperfect.
- Encourage Emotional Expression:-Break the old myth that boys shouldnât cry or that men shouldnât show vulnerability. Create a safe space where your child (regardless of gender) feels comfortable expressing joy, fear, sadness, or anger.
- Build Rituals and Memories:-Rituals offer a sense of security. Create small but meaningful routinesâSaturday morning pancakes, evening prayer or gratitude time, or fatherâchild journals. These become emotional anchors in a childâs life.
- Stay Involved as They Grow:-As children enter their teenage years, they may pull away, but your involvement still matters. Respect their space, but remain interested in their worldâbe it video games, music, sports, or school dilemmas.
Addressing Challenges Fathers Face
Itâs common for fathers to feel unsure, left out, or unprepared, especially in the early years. Many may struggle to express emotions or fear not doing things âright.
Hereâs how to cope:
- Talk to your partner about co-parenting roles and expectations.
- Join father support groupsâonline or offlineâto share experiences.
- Seek counselling if you struggle with past trauma, anger, or emotional expression. You may become the father you want to be with the help of therapy.
The Bigger Picture: Active Fathers Raise Emotionally Secure Adults
An active father helps a child feel loved, safe, and understood. This emotional security becomes the foundation for:
- Healthy relationships in adulthood
- Emotional intelligence
- Academic and career success
- A strong sense of identity
As a father, your everyday words, actions, and affection shape the inner world of your child.
ConclusionÂ
A perfect parent is no such thing. Whether you’re stepping into fatherhood for the first time or working to reconnect with your children now, know that it’s never too late to be an active, loving, and intentional parent. The key to making a difference is your readiness to show up, with patience, vulnerability, and mindfulness.
For fathers facing emotional disconnection or struggling to build or repair relationships with their children or partners, professional support can make a world of difference. The Psychowellness Centre, located in Janakpuri and Dwarka Sector-17, offers in-person counselling with experienced therapists, including some of the best psychologists near me, who specialise in parenting, relationship dynamics, and emotional well-being. If you prefer support from home, TalktoAngel provides private and secure online therapy sessions tailored to your needs, whether you’re working on communication, mindfulness, or personal healing. Your consistent presence, supported by the right tools and guidance, is the greatest gift you can offer. Let your journey as an active father begin â with compassion, connection, and courage.
Contribution: Dr. R.K. Suri, a clinical psychologist, and Ms. Sheetal Chauhan, a counselling psychologist
References
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2016). The importance of fathers in the healthy development of children. https://www.aap.org/en/news-room/news-releases/aap/2016/aap-releases-policy-statement-on-the-role-of-fathers-in-childrens-lives/
Lamb, M. E. (2010). The Role of the Father in Child Development (5th ed.). Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.
Sarkadi, A., Kristiansson, R., Oberklaid, F., & Bremberg, S. (2008). Fathersâ involvement and childrenâs developmental outcomes: A systematic review of longitudinal studies. Acta Paediatrica, 97(2), 153â158. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1651-2227.2007.00572.x