Therapy is a life-changing process that leads to self-discovery, personal development, and healing. Yet, many people resist it, especially when it’s suggested by someone close to them. Watching a loved one struggle with emotional distress, depression, anxiety, trauma, or relationship issues can be heartbreaking. But when you gently suggest therapy and they shut down, become defensive, or outright refuse, it leaves you feeling helpless and frustrated.
The truth is, resistance to therapy is common. It doesn’t mean the person doesn’t need help it usually means they’re afraid, unsure, or uninformed. This blog explores the reasons behind resistance, how to approach the subject with empathy, and practical ways to support your loved one toward seeking help.
Understanding the Resistance: Why People Avoid Therapy
Before you can effectively support someone, it’s important to understand the underlying reasons for their hesitation. Resistance isn’t always about stubbornness, it often stems from deeper fears or beliefs.
Common Reasons People Resist Therapy:
- Stigma and Shame: Many people believe that going to therapy means they are “broken” or “weak.” Cultural or generational beliefs may also play a role.
- Fear of Vulnerability: Therapy requires talking about uncomfortable emotions, memories, or trauma. This level of openness can feel overwhelming.
- Denial or Lack of Insight: Some individuals don’t recognise that they need help or don’t believe their struggles are serious enough.
- Bad Past Experiences: A previous unhelpful therapist, counsellor or uncomfortable experience can leave lasting scepticism.
- Fear of Change: Therapy often brings growth, but growth requires change. Some people fear what they might discover or what they may have to confront.
- Financial or Time Concerns: Cost, time, and accessibility may also be practical barriers.
Recognising that resistance is often rooted in fear or misunderstanding allows you to approach the situation with compassion instead of confrontation.
Do’s and Don’ts When Talking About Therapy
Do: Choose the Right Moment
Avoid bringing up therapy during a heated argument or emotional crisis. Choose a calm, private time when your loved one feels safe and open to conversation.
Don’t: Force or Guilt Them
Pressuring someone into therapy often backfires. Statements like “You need help” or “You’re ruining everything” create shame and resistance.
Do: Express Concern, Not Criticism
Use “I” statements to share your feelings. For example:
“I’ve sensed that you’ve been feeling quite low recently, and I’m genuinely concerned about you. Perhaps speaking with a professional could offer clarity and support during this time.”
Don’t: Make It About You
Avoid making their struggles your burden. While it’s okay to share how their behaviour affects you, focus on their well-being, not your discomfort.
Do: Normalise Therapy
Remind them that therapy is a healthy, proactive choice. You might say,
“Just as we visit a doctor when we are physically ill, therapy is helpful when we are experiencing emotional difficulties.”
Strategies to Encourage Openness Toward Therapy
1. Educate Gently
Distribute resources regarding treatment and mental health, such as podcasts, films, and articles. Direct counsel can occasionally be more intimidating than learning from a third party.
You might say,
“I read this article about anxiety and thought of you—it explains things really well.”
2. Share Personal Experience (If Applicable)
If you’ve benefitted from therapy yourself, share your story. It helps make the concept feel more approachable and easier to connect with.
“I used to think therapy was only for extreme issues, but it helped me understand myself better and cope with stress.”
3. Offer Practical Help
At times, searching for the right therapist can feel daunting or confusing. Offer to:
- Research therapists
- Help with scheduling an appointment
- Sit with them during a telehealth session (if they want support)
- Assist with insurance or payment questions
Even small actions can make a big difference.
4. Suggest a Trial Session
Encourage them to attend a single session without pressuring them to make a long-term commitment. The initial session often dispels myths and eases anxieties about therapy.
You could say,
“Just give one session a try and observe the results. If it doesn’t feel right, you’re free to walk away at any time.”
5. Recommend Alternatives as a Starting Point
If therapy feels too intimidating, suggest starting with:
- Support groups
- Online mental health platforms
- Self-help books or apps
- Talking to a school or workplace counsellor
These can serve as stepping stones toward formal therapy.
What to Do if They Still Refuse
Witnessing someone suffer and turn down assistance is really distressing. But remember: You cannot force someone into therapy. What you can do is stay supportive and maintain boundaries.
Here’s How:
- Be patient. Change takes time. Just planting the seed can have long-term effects.
- Listen without judgment. Sometimes they just need to feel heard.
- Respect their autonomy. Adults have the right to make their own choices—even if you disagree.
- Encourage healthy habits. Promote sleep, nutrition, exercise, and connection—these can improve mental wellbeing naturally.
- Take care of yourself. Supporting someone else’s mental health should not come at the expense of your own. Seek therapy or a support group for caregivers if needed.
When to Take Urgent Action
If your loved one is showing signs of a severe mental health crisis, such as suicidal thoughts, self-harm, psychosis, or substance abuse—you may need to intervene more directly. In such cases:
- Make contact with emergency services or a mental health crisis line.
- Speak with a family member or medical expert you can trust.
- Stay with them if they are in immediate danger.
Your safety and theirs come first.
Conclusion
Encouraging a loved one to seek therapy is an act of love—but it’s also a delicate process. Resistance is normal and often rooted in fear, stigma, or past negative experiences, not defiance. By approaching the subject with empathy, patience, and understanding, you can become a powerful catalyst for change.
The Psychowellness Center, which is situated in Janakpuri and Dwarka Sector-17, provides in-person counselling with skilled psychologists, including some of the best psychologists near me, who specialise in relationship and couple therapy, for couples wishing to deepen their emotional bond or work through difficulties together. Furthermore, TalktoAngel offers private and secure online counselling, enabling individuals and couples to conveniently obtain professional advice from any location. Both platforms are dedicated to providing compassionate, evidence-based care in order to promote relationships that are healthier and more connected.
Remember: Even if your loved one doesn’t take the step immediately, your support, belief, and gentle encouragement can plant the seeds of healing. Sometimes, just knowing that someone cares and believes in their ability to heal is enough to spark transformation.
This article showcases valuable inputs from distinguished experts, Clinical Psychologist Dr. R.K. Suri and Counselling Psychologist Ms. Tanu Sangwan, who provide practical strategies and methods to enhance emotional resilience and support long-term mental well-being.
This blog was posted on 29 August 2025
References
- American Psychological Association. (2021). Understanding psychotherapy and how it works. https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/understanding-psychotherapy
- Linehan, M. M. (2014). DBT® Skills Training Manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
- Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. Harper.
- Padesky, C. A., & Greenberger, D. (1995). Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think. Guilford Press.
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). (2023). Tips for encouraging loved ones to get help. https://www.nami.org