In a world where much of our communication happens behind screens, the way we connect—and disconnect—has changed dramatically. You’ve probably heard of ghosting—when someone disappears from your life without explanation, cutting off all communication suddenly. But there’s a newer, subtler version on the rise: soft ghosting.
Unlike full-on ghosting, it’s not abrupt silence. It’s a slow fade. A quiet, lingering disengagement that’s harder to recognise but just as emotionally confusing. Soft ghosting has become a modern coping mechanism for emotional discomfort, especially when it comes to confrontation, closure, or ending a connection. It might seem harmless at first glance, but it reveals a deeper issue—our growing tendency to avoid emotional responsibility and emotional control.
What Is Soft Ghosting?
Soft ghosting happens when someone doesn’t disappear entirely, but their engagement becomes passive and noncommittal. Think: they see your message but only respond with a ‘like’ or a quick emoji. Maybe they reply days later with vague answers or shift from regular conversations to sparse, dry interactions. The communication isn’t completely dead, but it’s definitely on life support. It’s the digital version of slowly backing out of a room instead of walking out the door.
Why People Soft Ghost
Soft ghosting often stems from discomfort with directness. But beneath that discomfort lie deeper psychological patterns:
- Avoidance of Conflict:– Having tough conversations is never easy. Telling someone you’re not interested or that you’re emotionally checked out feels awkward, so many prefer to avoid it entirely by slowly pulling away.
- Uncertainty or Indecision:- They don’t want to move forward, but they’re not ready to let go either, so they stay in limbo and drag the other person along with them. This cycle often reflects deeper issues like procrastination in addressing emotions or making decisions.
- Desire to Preserve Image:- Ending things can feel harsh or cold, especially if someone wants to avoid looking like “the bad guy.” Soft ghosting allows them to slowly fade away while maintaining a kind or neutral facade.
- Lack of Communication Skills:- Not everyone has learned how to express uncomfortable truths. Emotional immaturity and poor emotional control often lead people to believe that silence (or minimal engagement) is easier than honesty.
The Emotional Toll of Soft Ghosting
Soft ghosting leaves the other person stuck in a grey zone. Unlike full ghosting, where the rejection is clear, soft ghosting offers just enough engagement to keep someone hopeful, confused, but not certain enough to move on.
This ambiguity can cause:
- Overthinking and second-guessing: You wonder if you did something wrong or if you’re misreading the situation.
- Unresolved feelings: Without closure, emotions linger.
- Frustration and self-doubt can lower your self-esteem and undermine your confidence in future relationships.
In many cases, this experience can lead to symptoms of stress, social isolation, or even FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), especially if the soft ghoster remains active on social media while ignoring your connection attempts.
Soft Ghosting in Modern Relationships
Soft ghosting isn’t limited to romantic interactions. It shows up in various types of relationships:
- Dating:- This is where soft ghosting is most common. After a few conversations or dates, one person pulls away, stopping active engagement but not cutting off contact completely. The other person keeps hoping the energy will return.
- Friendships:- Even long-time friends can fall into the soft ghosting trap. One friend stops initiating plans, replies late with short messages, and gradually becomes emotionally unavailable—all without openly addressing the distance.
- Work and Networking: Professionally, someone might seem interested in a collaboration or opportunity, only to go silent without officially closing the door. It’s a way of avoiding uncomfortable professional boundaries or disappointments.
How to Recognise Soft Ghosting
A shift from regular conversations to dry, delayed responses.
- A lack of follow-through—vague promises but no action.
- Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.
How to Respond to Soft Ghosting
Dealing with soft ghosting can feel draining. Here’s how to handle it with clarity and dignity:
- Acknowledge What’s Happening:- It’s easy to rationalise someone’s disengagement, especially when you want things to work. But recognising the shift in behaviour helps you emotionally process it and regain self-confidence.
- Communicate Clearly: If you value the relationship, it’s worth sending a direct message. This gives them a chance to be transparent or confirms their avoidance.
- Set Emotional Boundaries:- Protect your energy. If someone can’t respect your emotional investment, it’s okay to pull back and prioritize your well-being.
- Choose Closure for Yourself:-You may never get a clear explanation. That’s hard, but closure doesn’t have to come from them—it can come from your decision to walk away from uncertainty.
If you find this recurring in your relationships or if it’s affecting your mental health, consider seeking support. Speaking with the best therapist in Delhi or connecting with a top psychologist in India can provide valuable insight into your emotional patterns, communication styles, and stress counselling needs.
If You’ve Been the Soft Ghoster…
We’ve all made mistakes. If you realise you’ve soft ghosted someone, it’s not too late to act with integrity:
- Own your actions. Acknowledge that you’ve been distant, and explain why if appropriate.
- Be honest. Even if it feels awkward, saying something like, “I’m not in the right place to continue this connection” is better than lingering silence.
- Learn and grow. The more we practice honest communication, the more respectful and meaningful our connections become.
If you’re struggling to manage your interpersonal habits, working with the best psychologist in Delhi could help you unpack unresolved fears and develop healthier ways to engage.
Conclusion: Let’s Make Room for Honesty
Soft ghosting may seem like a harmless way to back out of conversations or relationships, but in reality, it reflects a broader issue: our increasing discomfort with emotional honesty and emotional control.
In a world of constant connection, it’s easy to hide behind our devices. But real connection—and real closure—requires courage. Whether it’s ending a conversation, saying goodbye to a friendship, or choosing to walk away from a potential partner, clarity is always kinder than avoidance.
Let’s stop fading away when things get uncomfortable. Let’s talk, even when it’s hard. Because respect doesn’t just live in what we say, but also in how we choose to live.
If you’re struggling with the emotional fallout of soft ghosting—whether it’s stress, self-esteem issues, or social isolation—don’t hesitate to reach out to a top psychologist in India or book a session with the best therapist in Delhi for stress counselling and emotional support.
Contributed by Ms.Riya Rathi, Counselling Psychologist
This blog was posted on 24 June 2025
References
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- Suler, J. (2004). The online disinhibition effect. CyberPsychology & Behavior, 7(3), 321–326. https://doi.org/10.1089/1094931041291295