In a world where much of our communication happens behind screens, the way we connectâand disconnectâhas changed dramatically. Youâve probably heard of ghostingâwhen someone disappears from your life without explanation, cutting off all communication suddenly. But thereâs a newer, subtler version on the rise: soft ghosting.
Unlike full-on ghosting, itâs not abrupt silence. Itâs a slow fade. A quiet, lingering disengagement thatâs harder to recognise but just as emotionally confusing. Soft ghosting has become a modern coping mechanism for emotional discomfort, especially when it comes to confrontation, closure, or ending a connection. It might seem harmless at first glance, but it reveals a deeper issueâour growing tendency to avoid emotional responsibility and emotional control.
What Is Soft Ghosting?
Soft ghosting happens when someone doesn’t disappear entirely, but their engagement becomes passive and noncommittal. Think: they see your message but only respond with a âlikeâ or a quick emoji. Maybe they reply days later with vague answers or shift from regular conversations to sparse, dry interactions. The communication isnât completely dead, but itâs definitely on life support. Itâs the digital version of slowly backing out of a room instead of walking out the door.
Why People Soft Ghost
Soft ghosting often stems from discomfort with directness. But beneath that discomfort lie deeper psychological patterns:
- Avoidance of Conflict:–Â Having tough conversations is never easy. Telling someone youâre not interested or that you’re emotionally checked out feels awkward, so many prefer to avoid it entirely by slowly pulling away.
- Uncertainty or Indecision:- Â They donât want to move forward, but theyâre not ready to let go either, so they stay in limbo and drag the other person along with them. This cycle often reflects deeper issues like procrastination in addressing emotions or making decisions.
- Desire to Preserve Image:- Â Ending things can feel harsh or cold, especially if someone wants to avoid looking like âthe bad guy.â Soft ghosting allows them to slowly fade away while maintaining a kind or neutral facade.
- Lack of Communication Skills:- Not everyone has learned how to express uncomfortable truths. Emotional immaturity and poor emotional control often lead people to believe that silence (or minimal engagement) is easier than honesty.
The Emotional Toll of Soft Ghosting
Soft ghosting leaves the other person stuck in a grey zone. Unlike full ghosting, where the rejection is clear, soft ghosting offers just enough engagement to keep someone hopeful, confused, but not certain enough to move on.
This ambiguity can cause:
- Overthinking and second-guessing: You wonder if you did something wrong or if youâre misreading the situation.
- Unresolved feelings: Without closure, emotions linger.
- Frustration and self-doubt can lower your self-esteem and undermine your confidence in future relationships.
In many cases, this experience can lead to symptoms of stress, social isolation, or even FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), especially if the soft ghoster remains active on social media while ignoring your connection attempts.
Soft Ghosting in Modern Relationships
Soft ghosting isnât limited to romantic interactions. It shows up in various types of relationships:
- Dating:- This is where soft ghosting is most common. After a few conversations or dates, one person pulls away, stopping active engagement but not cutting off contact completely. The other person keeps hoping the energy will return.
- Friendships:-Â Even long-time friends can fall into the soft ghosting trap. One friend stops initiating plans, replies late with short messages, and gradually becomes emotionally unavailableâall without openly addressing the distance.
- Work and Networking: Professionally, someone might seem interested in a collaboration or opportunity, only to go silent without officially closing the door. It’s a way of avoiding uncomfortable professional boundaries or disappointments.
How to Recognise Soft Ghosting
A shift from regular conversations to dry, delayed responses.
- A lack of follow-throughâvague promises but no action.
- Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.
How to Respond to Soft Ghosting
Dealing with soft ghosting can feel draining. Hereâs how to handle it with clarity and dignity:
- Acknowledge Whatâs Happening:- Itâs easy to rationalise someoneâs disengagement, especially when you want things to work. But recognising the shift in behaviour helps you emotionally process it and regain self-confidence.
- Communicate Clearly: Â If you value the relationship, itâs worth sending a direct message. This gives them a chance to be transparent or confirms their avoidance.
- Set Emotional Boundaries:- Â Protect your energy. If someone canât respect your emotional investment, itâs okay to pull back and prioritize your well-being.
- Choose Closure for Yourself:-You may never get a clear explanation. Thatâs hard, but closure doesnât have to come from themâit can come from your decision to walk away from uncertainty.
If you find this recurring in your relationships or if itâs affecting your mental health, consider seeking support. Speaking with the best therapist in Delhi or connecting with a top psychologist in India can provide valuable insight into your emotional patterns, communication styles, and stress counselling needs.
If Youâve Been the Soft GhosterâŠ
Weâve all made mistakes. If you realise youâve soft ghosted someone, itâs not too late to act with integrity:
- Own your actions. Acknowledge that youâve been distant, and explain why if appropriate.
- Be honest. Even if it feels awkward, saying something like, âIâm not in the right place to continue this connectionâ is better than lingering silence.
- Learn and grow. The more we practice honest communication, the more respectful and meaningful our connections become.
If you’re struggling to manage your interpersonal habits, working with the best psychologist in Delhi could help you unpack unresolved fears and develop healthier ways to engage.
Conclusion: Letâs Make Room for Honesty
Soft ghosting may seem like a harmless way to back out of conversations or relationships, but in reality, it reflects a broader issue: our increasing discomfort with emotional honesty and emotional control.
In a world of constant connection, itâs easy to hide behind our devices. But real connectionâand real closureârequires courage. Whether itâs ending a conversation, saying goodbye to a friendship, or choosing to walk away from a potential partner, clarity is always kinder than avoidance.
Letâs stop fading away when things get uncomfortable. Letâs talk, even when itâs hard. Because respect doesnât just live in what we say, but also in how we choose to live.
If youâre struggling with the emotional fallout of soft ghostingâwhether itâs stress, self-esteem issues, or social isolationâdon’t hesitate to reach out to a top psychologist in India or book a session with the best therapist in Delhi for stress counselling and emotional support.
Contributed by Ms.Riya Rathi, Counselling Psychologist
This blog was posted on 24 June 2025
References
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- Lembke, A. (2021). Dopamine nation: Finding balance in the age of indulgence. New York, NY: Dutton.
- Twenge, J. M. (2017). iGen: Why todayâs super-connected kids are growing up less rebellious, more tolerant, less happy–and completely unprepared for adulthood. New York, NY: Atria Books.
- Suler, J. (2004). The online disinhibition effect. CyberPsychology & Behavior, 7(3), 321â326. https://doi.org/10.1089/1094931041291295