We have all been there, staring out a window during a long commute or drifting off during a boring meeting, imagining a life where we are the heroes of our own stories. For most people, daydreaming is a harmless escape, a quick mental break that lasts a few minutes before reality pulls us back. But for some, these fantasies aren’t just a brief detour; they are a destination. When the “inner movie” becomes so vivid and addictive that it starts replacing real life, it is no longer just imagination. It is a condition known as Maladaptive Daydreaming (MD).
Maladaptive Daydreaming is a psychological concept first described by Professor Eli Somer in 2002. It involves extensive fantasy activity that replaces human interaction and interferes with daily functioning. While it is not yet officially recognised in the DSM-5, the impact it has on mental health is very real and often devastating.
More than just a “wandering mind”
The first thing to understand is the intensity. A maladaptive daydreamer doesnât just “think” about a scenario; they experience it. These dreams often have complex plots, recurring characters, and deep emotional stakes. Itâs common for individuals to spend several hours a day immersed in these worlds.
One of the most unique aspects of this disorder is the physical component. Many people find themselves performing repetitive movements while they daydream, such as pacing, rocking, or gesturing, often triggered by music or movies. This is where the struggle with anxiety management often begins. The dreamer feels a compulsive need to return to their world, and when they are interrupted, they may feel irritable or distressed.
Why does it happen?
For many, MD starts as a coping mechanism. Life can be overwhelming. Whether it is a history of trauma, loneliness, or simply a high-stress environment, the mind creates a “safe space.” In this internal world, the person might be confident, loved, or successful, but feel they are lacking in reality.
However, what starts as a refuge can quickly turn into a prison. Because these fantasies are so rewarding, the brain begins to crave them like a drug. This addictive quality is why many experts see parallels between MD and OCD or behavioural addictions. The person wants to stop because they see their real life slipping away, but the pull of the fantasy is too strong to resist alone.
The cost of living in your head
The consequences of MD are often hidden because the disorder is deeply internal. A person might appear to be “lazy” or “distracted” to the outside world, but inside, they are exhausted.
- Work and education: It becomes nearly impossible to focus on a task for more than a few minutes. Procrastination becomes a way of life.
- Social isolation: Why go out and struggle with a difficult conversation when you can have a perfect, scripted relationship in your head? This often leads to a need for relationship counselling later on, as real-world connections begin to wither.
- Emotional fatigue: Moving between a high-stakes fantasy and a “boring” reality creates a constant emotional “hangover.” This can eventually spiral into a need for anxiety and depression treatment.
Taking the First Step: The Role of Therapy
If you recognise these patterns in yourself, please know that you are not “crazy.” You are likely using an incredible creative gift in a way that has become unhelpful. Evidence shows that specialised psychotherapy is highly effective. Specifically, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) helps individuals identify the triggers that send them into a daydreaming spiral. By learning to stay grounded in the present moment, you can begin to bridge the gap between your fantasy self and your real self.
For those who struggle with underlying conditions, such as ADHD or a personality disorder, addressing those issues is often the key to reducing the frequency of the daydreams. Sometimes, a consultation with a psychiatrist can help determine if there is a neurobiological component that needs attention.
How to start healing
Awareness is the first step, but action is the second. If your daydreams are stealing your hours and your joy, it is time to seek professional help. You don’t have to navigate this alone. Many people find that online counselling provides a safe, low-pressure way to start talking about their internal world for the first time.
Managing stress management through mindfulness and 5-4-3-2-1 grounding techniques can also help tie you to the real world. Simple acts, like focused breathing or sensory checks (naming five things you can see, four you can touch), can break the trance of a daydream before it takes over your afternoon.
Conclusion
Depression without tears is real, and it often hides behind productivity, responsibility, and even smiles. When emotional pain goes unspoken, it does not disappearâit simply waits to be acknowledged. If you recognise these silent signs in yourself or someone you care about, remember that seeking support is not weakness; it is self-awareness and courage. You deserve support that sees beyond the surface and understands what you may not be able to put into words.
At the Psychowellness Centre (Call us at -011-47039812 or 7827208707), we understand the nuances of high-functioning distress and hidden depression. Our team includes the best psychologist near me, experts in relationship counselling, and the best counselling psychologist near me, dedicated to uncovering the silent roots of emotional pain. Whether you are searching for a therapist for depression, stress, career concerns, or emotional well-being, we provide a discreet, professional, and empathetic space where you can begin healing without judgment. For those who value flexibility and privacy, TalktoAngel offers world-class online counselling services. Connect with experienced therapists through TalktoAngel and receive compassionate mental health support from the comfort of your own space.
Learn more about mental health: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-AnKQuAtI0
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Contribution: Dr. R.K. Suri, Clinical Psychologist, and Ms. Swati, Counselling Psychologist  Â
References
- Somer, E. (2002). Maladaptive Daydreaming: A Qualitative Inquiry. Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy.
- Bigelsen, J., & Schupak, C. (2011). Compulsive fantasy: Proposed evidence of an under-reported syndrome through a systematic study of 90 self-identified non-normative daydreamers.
- Healthline (2021). Maladaptive Daydreaming: Scale, Symptoms, and Treatments.
- Cleveland Clinic (2022). Maladaptive Daydreaming: What It Is, Symptoms & Treatment.
- Somer, E., et al. (2016). Maladaptive Daydreaming: Ontological Status, Diagnosis, and Treatment. Frontiers in Psychiatry.